I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
