I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize