Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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