THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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