Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Randomize
