I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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