I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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