Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
