He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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