Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
