We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
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Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
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Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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