So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
