Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
