I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't deserve a penis
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
