If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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