I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just had sex on a roof
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Randomize
