There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
they need to just BURY HIM!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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