He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
