I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
