i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I still have a little drunk in my system
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
