i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
that is very illegal...i love you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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