she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I supernannyed him into submission
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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