Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I need water and some morals
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
