so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
