She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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