Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
