Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
