wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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