Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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