C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
