Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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