the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
