in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
