party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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