I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point