STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone