the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
