Just cropdusted the office
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?