WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.