i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here