Your dad touched me again.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We had sex on a dog bed..
I need to sanitize my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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