Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
