He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
