It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
