If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
