so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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