I'm pants shitting drunk right now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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