I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
