Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
