My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
