god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize