remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
ttyl tear gas
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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