You made me cry and you don't even care
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
