pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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