Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she told me i tasted like america
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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