She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
