walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
