I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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