I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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