I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
