i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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