What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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